Over the past week, I have watched a friend lose everything. But before I tell you her story, I want to give you (and myself) a warning. Don’t think that it is only because of the poor choices my friend has made that she finds herself in this place. While she hasn’t always made the wisest decisions, I do believe that what she is experiencing is not merely consequences to her actions, but a divine intervention from God.
I met T a couple of months ago at one of the clubs we serve at. She immediately expressed a desire to leave, but couldn’t work up the courage to do so. Still, on Sundays, she would attend church with me and break down over the despair she felt every week over having to work in the sex-industry. Her desire to follow God is genuine, but the control addiction has on her life is so strong.
It wasn’t too longer after that I heard she had been in a fight at the club and broke her hand, therefore losing her job and temporary use of her dominant hand. With this limitation, she felt hopeless to even find another job, as she couldn’t write on her own to fill out a job application.
As we were driving to church the next Sunday, she asked Eric and I, “I just wonder…what have I done that’s so bad that all these things keep happening to me?” I sat in silence as thoughts raced through my head. She hadn’t done anything…and yet I knew her question was bigger than what she could vocalize. She doubted if God saw her and cared about her situation. I decided that was more important to vocalize than a theological description of how God’s justice works.
But that’s not the end of the story. 3 days later, I picked her up from the hospital where she had a cast put on so her hand could heal and took her home to the motel room she’s been sharing with her boyfriend while living in Louisville. An hour later, she called me crying. Her boyfriend broke up with her, and kicked her out of the room. She had nowhere to go, and the man she thought loved her had rejected her.
In a little under a month, T’s job, health, relationship, and home were taken away from her.
That evening, I drove from my stable job to my safe home and sat across a table eating dinner with my boyfriend. And I felt numb. I hurt for T, but there was something more going on. It took me 24 hours to even put a word to it, but now I know what was crippling me:
Fear.
I had just watched God remove everything from my friend’s life so He could draw her closer to Him. And while I prayed that T would one day see these things as the ultimate glorification of His name, I was also saying:
“…but we’re cool, right God? I mean, I know you give and take away…but remember last year? And the year before that? You’ve already ripped things from my hands before I was ready to give them up, but I’ve been refined through that! Don’t you see it? So it would be really nice if I could get some kind of guarantee from you that things aren’t going to change for awhile.”
Those weren’t my actual words, 1) because I immediately knew how foolish they were, and 2) I didn’t want to admit that, despite their foolishness, there are days where I really wish things worked that way.
This week at church, our pastor talked about how God DOES want to give you “Your Best Life Now”, but that HE decides what the definition of “best life” is. For all of us, our “best life” is one where we recognize that we own NOTHING, we deserve NOTHING, and God will allow NOTHING to interfere with His glory. Any other reality we believe exists is false.
Thankfully, T has chosen to get help so that she can move toward the “best life” God has intended for her. Pray for her healing. Pray for her peace. Pray that she does not give up.
And pray that the very thing you fear losing the most would begin to pale in comparison to the presence of God. If He chooses to take it away, it will ultimately lead to your joy. If He allows you to keep it, may it be said that it is only by His grace that He would count you worthy of His calling for His glory. (2 Thessalonians 1:11)
Written by Amy W.
SH Outreach Team Member
